Michael Rosen's sad book by Michael Rosen, illustrated by Quentin Blake. Walker, 2004.
Poignant and hard-hitting – and oh, so relatable. Michael Rosen shares his feelings after the sudden death of his son, Eddie. The roller-coaster of emotions is beautiful dealt with – and his coping mechanisms.
A wonderful book for anyone feeling sad, not just those grieving. Highly recommended.
The dead bird by Margaret Wise Brown, illustrated by Christian Robinson. Harper, 2016. Text originally published in 1938.
A very realistic discussion about death – including the physical changes a body undergoes. Children find a dead bird in the park and, emulating adult behaviour, hold a funeral and burial service for the bird. They keep its grave tidy, with flowers on it, until they forget.
Always and forever by Alan Durant, illustrated by Debi Gliori. Doubleday, 2003.
Otter, Mole, and Hare struggle to continue after the death of their father-figure, Fox. They share memories, which make them miss him more. A visit from their friend, Squirrel, helps them remember happier times. A lovely story about memories, and sadness – and coming through the other end – still remembering, and still connected. And creating ways to stay connected.
Aunt Mary’s rose by Douglas Wood, illustrated by LeUyen Pham. Candlewick, 2010.
Although not explicitly about death, this is a beautiful book about family and contiguity. Based on the author’s family story, Aunt Mary’s rose has been tended for by generations of the family – through losses and deaths, hardships and happy times. The author’s note says that a cutting of the real rose grows in his garden, tended by his children.
The scar by Charlotte Moundlic, illustrated by Olivier Tallec. Walker, 2011.
Stunning - from the preparatory grief in the days before his mother's death, to his eventual acceptance, a young boy takes us through the roller coaster of emotions tied in with grief. He is angry, happy, and so scared and worried about looking after his father - he looked like a flannel, all crumpled and wet. He is afraid that he will forget his mother - her voice, her scent - so he tries to keep her close by keeping the windows shut to preserve her smell, by keeping a scab on his knee to hear her voice.
The heart and the bottle by Oliver Jeffers. HarperCollins, 2010.
A tale told as much through the illustrations, as the text.
A young girl has a very close relationship with her grandfather - and after his death, she changes and puts her heart away in a bottle. Then a new curious little girl arrives in her life - but her heart is locked away.
An allegorical tale of the long-term damage and hurt caused by grief.
Harry & Hopper by Margaret Wild, illustrated by Freya Blackwood. Scholastic, 2009.
Harry is in denial after his dog, Hopper's, death after an accident. Harry can't talk to anyone about it. But, that night, Hopper is at his window, and they run outside to play. Until, one night, Hopper is too weak to come in. Which gives Harry a chance to say goodbye, properly.
Goodbye Mog by Judith Kerr. Collins, 2002.
Mog, beloved cat for generations of readers, says goodbye - but stays around to see what happens next. (Mog was ever curious.) The family find a kitten, which upsets Mog - but Mog realises the kitten just needs help, which Mog is willing to give. But the family, happy with a new kitten, still remember Mog.
Although cute and touching - particularly for long-time Mog fans - this book doesn't really explain death: only that Mog is dead tired. And is a bit too fanciful and ghostly for it to be of much use, except as a conversation starter.
A memory book: someone I love has died by Tricia Irving & Bev Gatenby. Mallinson Rendel, 2000.
A wonderful resource for keeping a loved one close to your thoughts. This is a workbook for children to use, to create their own memory book of someone important. There are spaces for pictures and words - and for remembering who is there to help them through this time.
Death is stupid by Anastasia Higginbotham. The Feminist Press, at the City University of New York, 2016.
Powerful, simple, direct – and honest. In words children can understand, expressed perfectly. This is a wonderful book for those dealing with grief and the grieving process. And dealing with people trying to help, or be sympathetic.
Cry, heart, but never break by Glenn Ringtved, illustrated by Charlotte Pardi, translated from the Danish by Robert Moulthrop. Enchanted Lion Books, 2016.
Four children try to delay Death’s visit to their beloved grandmother, but Death knows that everything has a cycle, and that death is important in order to enjoy life. He tells an allegory about Grief and Sorrow marrying with Joy and Delight – there is balance in nature. Death’s representation owes a great deal to Bengt Ekeroth’s portrayal of Death in Bergman’s The Seventh Seal (just like Death, in Bill and Ted’s bogus journey).
Old Pig by Margaret Wild, illustrated by Ron Brooks. Allen & Unwin, 1995.
Old Pig and Granddaughter do everything together. They share the chores and live happily. But one morning, Old Pig doesn’t get up and have breakfast, leaving Granddaughter to do the chores alone. The next day, Old Pig says her goodbyes to everything – taking Granddaughter on a special walk, showing her how special and lovely the world is. They spend Old Pig’s last night together.
Old Pig’s death is not mentioned in the text, but is shown in the final illustration. Although death not mentioned, the preparatory process is beautiful, and Ron Brooks has squeezed an amazing amount of emotion into the illustrations.
The day Tiger Rose said goodbye by Jane Yolen, illustrated by Jim LaMarche. Random House, 2011.
It has been many years since Tiger Rose was a kitten, and she has decided it is time to say goodbye. She farewells everything and everybody – but hardly anyone realises it is for the last time. Then she curls up, and dreams of one last jump, and leaves.
A beautiful story, but one that does not explain death, nor show the impact of Tiger Rose’s death on those around her.
Life's a funny proposition, Horatio by Barbara Garland Polikoff. Puffin, 1992.
It's been two years since Horatio's father's death. As a way of coping with everything Horatio and his mother move to the country and, after his heart attack, Horatio's grandfather, O.P., moves in with them, bringing his dog Mollie. Horatio's family still miss his dad, although it isn't talked about openly. When Mollie goes missing and Horatio finds her dead, it brings back a lot of memories for them all. O.P. looks like he's missing something important, without Mollie there. Even though Horatio knows he needs time to grieve, he tries to get O.P. interested in a new dog. The book ends with the new dog settling in, and the family talking on the second anniversary of his father's death.
Goodbye Grandma: helping young children cope with bereavement by Melanie Walsh. Walker, 2014.
A straight forward explanation of death, told in dialogue form between a young child and their mother.
Information includes ways of remembering grandma, what death means, and that it is ok and normal to be sad.
That dog! by Nanette Newman, illustrated by Flora Daneman. Brubaker, Ford & Friends, 2011.
Barney is That Dog!, as called by the neighbour. But he is Ben’s best friend – part of life since Ben’s birth. Ben is broken hearted, but his grief is helped by the discovery of a lost puppy.
Soft and gentle illustrations accompany the gentle text. However, it does seem that Ben’s recovery is unnaturally swift.
When Aunt Mattie got her wings by Petra Mathews. Beach Lane Books, 2014.
Lottie’s Aunt Mattie is old and ready to go upstairs, through the gate. With the help of her best friend, Herbie, Lottie shares the task of sprinkling Aunt Mattie’s ashes, and remember such an important and loved person.
Simple, but beautifully told – and reasonably matter-of-fact.
Shine: a story about saying goodbye by Trace Balla. & Unwin, 2015.
Shine is a horse from the stars, who has to return to the stars, leaving behind his wife and children. A reassuring, yet allegorical, tale of grief and mourning.
A good conversation starter.
When your pet dies: dealing with your grief and helping your children cope by Christine Adamec. Berkley Books, 1996.
A book which acknowledges the grief felt when a pet dies, emphasising the fact that the feelings are often the same as for a human death. There is a chapter on helping children cope, as well as discussions on euthanasia and caring for your pet after its death.
Ghost brother by C. S. Adler. Clarion Books, 1990.
Wally's older brother, Jon-o, died while he was rescuing a drowning child. Wally is finding life difficult without Jon-o and often imagines Jon-o as a ghost, who offers Wally advice. Wally wants to be more like Jon-o, a daredevil, but he isn't as athletic or foolhardy. Wally tries to take Jon-o's place, but his mother reassures him he doesn't have to, and that Jon-o loved Wally for who he is. As Wally comes to terms with life without Jon-o, Jon-o's ghost disappears.
Bereavement: a shared experience by Helen Alexander. Lion, 1993.
This book contains first person experiences with grief. One chapter, Everyone can feel loss, deals with an aspect of grief not often discussed, the grief experience of those with impaired mental capabilities. This book is written from a Christian perspective.
When Uncle Bob died by Althea, illustrated by Lisa Kopper. Dinosaur Publications, 1988.
Before Uncle Bob dies, the narrator finds a dead butterfly, which is used to explain death to him. The narrator is angry with Uncle Bob for leaving. The reality of Uncle Bob's death makes him worry that he will lose his father when his father is ill. He comes to terms with Uncle Bob's death by talking to his cousins, Uncle Bob's children, listening to them and playing with them. The importance of a child's attendance at funerals, to provide closure, is also mentioned. A useful starting point for discussing death with ages five and up.
Death (Separations series) by Janine Amos, illustrated by Gwen Green, photographs by Angela Hampton. Cherrytree Books, 1997.
This book uses letters and case studies to illustrate the points discussed. This book does not discuss death as a concept. However its strength lies in the depth with which it discusses the emotions experienced after someone dies, and the development of coping mechanisms.This book goes further than many similar texts as it discusses the future and how to cope with a surviving parent's new relationship. It also emphasises the validity of the child's feelings, allowing them time to grieve and say goodbye: [r]emember, it takes time to say goodbye to someone you loved. However long it takes is the right time for you.
What we do when someone dies by Caroline Arnold, illustrated by Helen K. Davie. Franklin Watts, 1987.
A book which answers questions adults do not usually think need answering, but those which children sometimes need to know. Chapters include: All living things die; What happens to the body; Death announcements; The funeral ceremony; After the funeral; Remembering the dead; Beliefs about death. Information found in the text includes: death certificates; autopsy; embalming; epitaphs; life insurance policies; the eulogy; memorials (for example, the Taj Mahal). Beliefs about death includes Christian and Hindu. It finishes with [e]ven though people we know do die, they continue to stay alive in our memories of them.
Finn by Katharine Jay Bacon. Margaret K. McElderry Books, 1998.
Finn is the only survivor of a small plane crash which has killed his parents and younger sister. Finn's grief, shock and inability to articulate his emotions and memories, are manifested by him becoming mute. Finn moves to his grandmother's farm to live. The grief of his grandmother and Finn's sister's friend, Julia, is discussed, showing that grief is not limited in who it touches. Other dramatic situations occur, including Finn and Julia's accidental involvement with local drug dealers, and Finn's increasing involvement with a hybrid wolf. All three portraits of grief are realistically drawn. At the end of the novel Finn is ready to move on, he speaks and has finally let his memories of the crash to move to the end, and to remember all that happened.
On my honour by Marion Dane Bauer. Chivers, 1989. [Also published as On my honor].
Joel dares his best friend, Tony, to swim to the sandbar in the river. Tony, who is not a strong swimmer, disappears. In his guilt and confusion Joel hides and doesn't tell anybody what has happened. The truth comes out later that night in front of police, Joel's and Tony's parents. Joel's dad is there to help Joel through his guilt, but not to absolve him.
Grief (Hot line series) by Laurie Beckelman. Crestwood House, 1995.
This book, using interviews with teens, discusses the reality of grief, detailing the emotional journey taken. It also contains a chapter on Staying healthy.
Bereaved children and teens: a support guide for parents and professionals edited by Earl A. Grollman. Beacon Press, 1995.
A brilliant easy-to-read guide, which is divided into sections: Death and development; Relationships; Cultural, philosophical and religious perspectives on death and children; Treatment and therapies. Each chapter is written by an expert in the field. A good starting point.
Drawings from a dying child: insights into death from a Jungian perspective by Judi Bertoia. Routledge, 1993.
This book follows the story of Rachel, terminally ill with leukaemia. The author interprets Rachel's drawings and discusses the situation around which each one was drawn. By this method it can be seen that Rachel had achieved a measure of peace and was ready to die.
Beyond the innocence of childhood (3 volumes) edited by David W. Adams and Eleanor J. Deveau. Baywood Publishing, 1995.
This three-volume set is designed for the professional working with bereaved children and teenagers, specifically educators and medical professionals. Each volume has a different theme.
Volume 1: Factors influencing children and adolescents' perceptions and attitudes towards death.
This volume focuses upon the issue of death as a topic for discussion with children and adolescents. It includes chapters on: Gender differences in children's understanding of death; Perceptions of death through the eyes of children and adolescents; Appetite for destruction: Children and violent death in popular culture; AIDS and our children; Do children belong at funerals?
Volume 2: Helping children and adolescents cope with life-threatening illness and death.
In Part A topics focus on different forms of therapy, including: art; music; play; story and active imagination; humour and laughter; pets and camps. Topics discussed in Part B include: palliative care; the impact of the hospital system; lessons on living; imagery; truth-telling; spirituality; developing a children's hospice.
Volume 3: Helping children and adolescents cope with death and bereavement.
Topics discussed in this volume include: anticipatory grief; the effects of sibling death; the impact of parental death; AIDS; the aftermath of suicide; domestic violence; the death of a classmate; group intervention; adolescent grief support groups.
Tiger eyes by Judy Blume. Piccolo, 1983.
15-year-old Davey's life is shattered when her father is murdered. As the first person on the scene Davey has vivid memories of the night but has no one to talk to about it. Davey's mother withdraws into herself, to the extent that she accepts the offer of her in-laws to stay with them. Thus begins a long road to acceptance for Davey and her family. Davey is helped along the way by Mr Ortiz, who is dying of cancer, and his son.
I must tell you something by Arno Bo. Bloomsbury Publishing, 1996.
[Also published as Something very sorry by Arno Bohlmeijer]
The story is told in diary form through the eyes of the author's 9-year-old daughter, Rosemyn. It tells of the family's car accident which left all four members injured, Rosemyn's mother fatally. The family's belief in the afterlife and the strong support they receive from other family and friends sustains them. Rosemyn's anger at her father's driving, at the time of the accident, is shown including a confrontation between the two. An insight into one family's passage through grief.
Death is hard to live with: teenagers and how they cope with loss by Janet Bode. Delacorte Press, 1993.
This book is composed of interviews with bereaved teenagers and also adults who deal with death, such as doctors, funeral directors, and police. There are sections on different beliefs and rituals including Jewish, Muslim, Hispanic and Native American. For helping teenagers in believing that their emotions are normal, this is a good place to start.
When dinosaurs die: a guide to understanding death by Laurie Krasny Brown, illustrated Marc Brown. Little, Brown and Company, 1996.
The use of anthropomorphic dinosaurs helps to distance the reader from the subject dealt with in the text. The illustrations and page design are in a comic-book format. However simple the content matter it touches on some areas which most other books aimed at younger age groups do not, such as suicide and war as causes of death. It is very basic but would provide a good background to the subject.
Death (What's happening? series) by Karen Bryant-Mole. Wayland Publications,1992.
This book provides basic information as well as dealing with the emotions surrounding grief. The reasons for funeral services are among the topics dealt with. It contains short chapters entitled: Death; When do people die?; I'm frightened; Is it my fault?; Who'll take care of me?; What happened?; Talking about it; Special occasions; The future. [Includes a small section for parents and teachers and a glossary]
The happy funeral by Eve Bunting, illustrated by Vo-Dinh Mai. Harper & Row, 1982.
Laura is a young Chinese-American girl who attends the funeral of her grandfather. Laura is confused because her mother calls it a "happy funeral" but everyone is crying. Laura remembers the happy times she shared with her grandfather. Laura realises that the funeral is happy for her grandfather, as he had lived a good life and was happy to go.
A sudden silence by Eve Bunting. Red Fox, 1991.
Jesse's brother, Bry, is killed in a hit-and-run accident. Jesse, who was with him, tries to remember the car in order to find the driver. Jesse feels guilty because he didn't save Bry by pushing him out of the way, he had yelled at Bry but Bry was deaf. Even when Jesse discovers the identity of the driver he doesn't feel any better, the pain is still there.
Blow me a kiss, Miss Lilly by Nancy White Carlstrom, illustrated by Amy Schwartz. Harper and Row, 1990.
A lovely story which tells of the relationship between Sara and her elderly neighbour Miss Lilly. Miss Lilly is a long-term resident in the community with bonds to many people, but Sara is her best friend. One year Miss Lilly is hospitalised and never returns. Sara's family care for Miss Lilly's cat, Snug, and Sara reminds him of everything the three of them used to do. Sara's memories help her work through her grief, so that she can celebrate the fun she had with Miss Lilly.
The accident by Carol Carrick, illustrated by Donald Carrick. Seabury Press, 1976.
Christopher's dog, Bodger, dies after being hit by a car while Christopher watches. Christopher reacts badly, especially when his father buries Bodger without Christopher's knowledge. Christopher's father helps Christopher work through his grief and anger, and lets him cry.
You hold me and I'll hold you by Jo Carson, illustrated by Annie Cannon. Orchard Books, 1992.
This book is primarily about a young girl attending her first funeral, that of an elderly relative. To prepare her for the funeral she and her father discuss the services they have held for pets. The girl finds comfort with her father at the service acknowledging that [i]t was good to be held, and it was good to be holding too.
What! No TV? by Pauline Cartwright. Ashton Scholastic, 1993.
Joseph spends ten days on holiday with his grandfather in New Zealand, a grandfather he has never seen. During this time Joseph begins to see a clearer picture of the man his late father was. Joseph's grandfather tells Joseph that death will be his next big adventure, something that becomes reality soon after Joseph returns home to Melbourne. Joseph realises that his grandfather was right, and that death is just part of life.
Living with grief in school: guidance for primary school teachers and staff by Ann Chadwick. Family Reading Centre, 1994.
This book includes discussions on: Death of a staff member; Death of a pupil; Multiple loss in the school; and, Effects on the child. The best advice contained in the book is: [t]he key is not to divert children from grief but to acknowledge its validity and encourage them that one day they won't feel as sad as they do now.
Children mourning, mourning children edited by Kenneth J. Doka, Ph.D. Hospice Foundation of America, 1995.
A collection of essays designed for those working with children and families during a bereavement. The book is divided into four sections: The child's perspective of death; The child's response to life-threatening illness; Children mourning, mourning children; and Innovative research. A good starting point for professionals seeking information on this topic.
Sam’s story by Fiona Chin-Yee, illustrated by Bill Johnson. Project Sam Publishing Company, 1988.
Sam is trying to make sense of his world and family following the cot death of his baby brother, Little Pat. Sam's mother is overwhelmed by grief and cannot cope with Sam's questions. Sam remembers the day Little Pat died, when nothing was explained to him. Now his home doesn't feel like home anymore. Sam believes in magical thinking, that if he is good and brave then the big men (the ambulance drivers) will bring Little Pat back. Sam's Gran comes to visit to help Sam understand about Little Pat's death. [Includes Parent Guide]
Dusty was my friend: coming to terms with loss by Andrea Fleck Clardy, illustrated by Eleanor Alexander. Human Sciences Press, 1984.
This book concerns death by accident and the death of a peer, both rarely dealt with topics for this age group. The narrator and his brother, Peter, have difficulty in accepting their friend Dusty's death. The narrator seeks information about the car accident in order to understand Dusty's death. This question seeking is a common part of the grief process. The narrator expresses his grief through a letter to Dusty, and by cherishing his memories of Dusty. This is an older text, with soft almost monochrome illustrations.
I had a friend named Peter: talking to children about the death of a friend by Janice Cohn, illustrated by Gail Owens. William Morrow, 1987.
A good book for introducing death and the funeral process as it follows Betsy's parents explaining the death of her friend Peter. It also touches on wishful thinking, as Betsy believes that it was her saying "I never want to see you again" which caused Peter's death. The illustrations show Betsy's parents comforting her. [Includes Notes for parents]
Molly’s rosebush by Janice Cohn, illustrated by Gail Owens. Albert Whitman and Company, 1994.
Molly remembers why they planted a pink rosebush in the garden. It was to acknowledge her baby brother or sister that wasn't strong enough to survive, and died in-utero. Molly's parents carefully explain what has happened and answer Molly's questions honestly, even if it means they acknowledge they don't know the answers. Molly's grandma helps explain things to Molly also. [Includes Notes for parents]
Parenting with wit and wisdom in times of chaos and loss by Barbara Coloroso. Viking, 1999.
An easy-to-read parenting guide that focuses on such stressful occasions as: illness; death; divorce; and children-caused mayhem. Each section is subdivided into advice for each age group. Coloroso's watchword is The T.A.O. of Family, standing for Time, Affection and Optimism.
Tell me everything by Carolyn Coman. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1993.
Roz is now living with her uncle following the death of her mother in a climbing accident. Roz is withdrawn from reality. One of her connections with the world, which keeps her mainly sane, are the 'phone calls to Nate, the boy her mother died trying to save. Roz's Uncle Mike tries to help her, but Roz's only way to make sense of her mother's death involves finding Nate, whose 'phone number is now unlisted. Eventually Roz finds the answers and some peace.
Crazy lady! by Jane Leslie Conly. Laura Geringer, 1993.
Vernon's family is slowly recovering after the death of their mother. What Vernon misses the most is someone who believes in him and his intelligence. Each child has a special memory of their mother, while Vernon's father has distanced himself emotionally from the children. By the end of the book Vernon and his father are closer together, providing Vernon the emotional stability and support he needs.
It isn’t easy by Margaret Connolly, llustrated by Rosita Manahan. Oxford University Press, 1997.
Told by Ross' little brother, this book tells the story of Ross' death and the family's grief. Ross dies as he runs in front of a car while he is playing with his brother. Ross' brother's feelings are realistic: he misses him; he hates him; he hates the injustice that Ross died but old people are still alive; he remembers all their arguments and fights; he remembers the fun and laughs, too; he feels weird being an only child. His emotions seesaw between good and bad, happy and sad. A very good book for describing the grief process.
