The balloon cloud by Clare Hanlon, illustrated by Mal Webster.

The balloon cloud by Clare Hanlon, illustrated by Mal Webster. Brolga Publishing 2013. 

I'm sure that some who are grieving would find a measure of comfort in this, but I find it a bit too twee and pat. 

And, in this age of environmental awareness, releasing balloons is not the best idea. 

Corey's rock by Sita Brahmachari & Jane Ray.

Corey's rock by Sita Brahmachari, illustrated by Jane Ray. Otter-Barry Books 2018. 

There is no plot, but what there is is a gentle and compassionate exploration of grief and the long, slow process of 'healing' and recovery. 

There is hope at the end, but still grief. 

The grief and compassion extends beyond the family, and shows the impact a death can have on a tight community. 

That summer by Tony Johnston & Barry Moser.

That summer by Tony Johnston, illustrated by Barry Moser. Harcourt 2002. 

I have read a lot of death books over the years, and some affect me more than others. This one got me in the tear ducts.

The story of a family, told by a big brother, as they say their extended goodbyes to Joey. Joey’s death comes after a summer of ailing, of preparation, of tears, and of memories – old and nearly created.

What's happened to baby?

What's happened to baby? written by members of SIDS (Wellington), Sands (Wellington) and Skylight, illustrated by Ali Teo. Skylight 2007. 

Simple and direct, this tells the story of a whanau / family grieving at the early death of their baby. It is narrated by the big sister, and includes reassuring messages to childhood questions and fears – including magical thinking (was it something I did?).

I had a brother by Diana Menefy & Malene Laugesen.

I had a brother by Diana Menefy, illustrated by Malene Laugesen. OneTree House Ltd 2019. 

 

A straightforward, but powerful in that, story of a baby brother dying as a baby. The family have time to prepare and say their goodbyes, and make memories. 

Connor, the baby, is brought home, so there is a discussion about what his body feels like - stiff and cold.

There is also comfort found later, and acknowledgement that Connor is still a part of the family years later.

Cleo & Rob by Helen Brown, illustrated by Phoebe Morris.

Cleo & Rob by Helen Brown, illustrated by Phoebe Morris. Allen & Unwin 2019.

Based on the author's life (told in her adult memoirs), this picture book tells how a kitten helps Rob back to life after the death of his older brother, in a car accident. 

It is simply told, but sympathetically and realistically. 

At the end, Rob is a father, and shares stories of his brother and their cat, with his children.

Lenny's book of everything by Karen Foxlee

Lenny's book of everything by Karen Foxlee. Allen & Unwin 2018. 

I have read a lot of children's books on death, this is the only one I can think of that ends so soon after the death. Instead, it focuses on relationships and the growth of preparatory grief.

It is perfectly paced and nuanced. Each character plays their roles, and there is little stereotyping.

Jenny Angel by Margaret Wild, illustrated by Anne Spudvilas

Jenny Angel by Margaret Wild, illustrated by Anne Spudvilas. Viking 1999. 

Jenny tries her best to save her little brother, Davy, but nothing she – his self-appointed guardian angel – can do will stop his decline. A story of wishing, and hoping, and making deals. Touching, and otherworldly, this could help start a discussion about the futility of deal-making with the ‘universe’ in the event of an upcoming death.

Ghost brother by C. S. Adler

Ghost brother by C. S. Adler. Clarion Books, 1990.

Wally's older brother, Jon-o, died while he was rescuing a drowning child. Wally is finding life difficult without Jon-o and often imagines Jon-o as a ghost, who offers Wally advice. Wally wants to be more like Jon-o, a daredevil, but he isn't as athletic or foolhardy. Wally tries to take Jon-o's place, but his mother reassures him he doesn't have to, and that Jon-o loved Wally for who he is. As Wally comes to terms with life without Jon-o, Jon-o's ghost disappears.

Finn by Katharine Jay Bacon

Finn by Katharine Jay Bacon. Margaret K. McElderry Books, 1998. 

Finn is the only survivor of a small plane crash which has killed his parents and younger sister. Finn's grief, shock and inability to articulate his emotions and memories, are manifested by him becoming mute. Finn moves to his grandmother's farm to live. The grief of his grandmother and Finn's sister's friend, Julia, is discussed, showing that grief is not limited in who it touches. Other dramatic situations occur, including Finn and Julia's accidental involvement with local drug dealers, and Finn's increasing involvement with a hybrid wolf. All three portraits of grief are realistically drawn. At the end of the novel Finn is ready to move on, he speaks and has finally let his memories of the crash to move to the end, and to remember all that happened.

A sudden silence by Eve Bunting

A sudden silence by Eve Bunting. Red Fox, 1991.

Jesse's brother, Bry, is killed in a hit-and-run accident. Jesse, who was with him, tries to remember the car in order to find the driver. Jesse feels guilty because he didn't save Bry by pushing him out of the way, he had yelled at Bry but Bry was deaf. Even when Jesse discovers the identity of the driver he doesn't feel any better, the pain is still there.

Sam’s story by Fiona Chin-Yee

Sam’s story by Fiona Chin-Yee, illustrated by Bill Johnson. Project Sam Publishing Company, 1988.

Sam is trying to make sense of his world and family following the cot death of his baby brother, Little Pat. Sam's mother is overwhelmed by grief and cannot cope with Sam's questions. Sam remembers the day Little Pat died, when nothing was explained to him. Now his home doesn't feel like home anymore. Sam believes in magical thinking, that if he is good and brave then the big men (the ambulance drivers) will bring Little Pat back. Sam's Gran comes to visit to help Sam understand about Little Pat's death. [Includes Parent Guide]

Molly’s rosebush by Janice Cohn

Molly’s rosebush by Janice Cohn, illustrated by Gail Owens.  Albert Whitman and Company, 1994.

Molly remembers why they planted a pink rosebush in the garden. It was to acknowledge her baby brother or sister that wasn't strong enough to survive, and died in-utero. Molly's parents carefully explain what has happened and answer Molly's questions honestly, even if it means they acknowledge they don't know the answers. Molly's grandma helps explain things to Molly also. [Includes Notes for parents]

It isn’t easy by Margaret Connolly

It isn’t easy by Margaret Connolly, llustrated by Rosita Manahan. Oxford University Press, 1997.

Told by Ross' little brother, this book tells the story of Ross' death and the family's grief. Ross dies as he runs in front of a car while he is playing with his brother. Ross' brother's feelings are realistic: he misses him; he hates him; he hates the injustice that Ross died but old people are still alive; he remembers all their arguments and fights; he remembers the fun and laughs, too; he feels weird being an only child. His emotions seesaw between good and bad, happy and sad. A very good book for describing the grief process.

Athletic shorts by Chris Crutcher

Athletic shorts: six short stories by Chris Crutcher. Greenwillow Books, 1991.

Two stories in this collection are follow-ups to two of the Crutcher novels included in this bibliography.  
"Going fishing" develops the story of Lionel from Stotan!. Lion lost his family when he was 15, in a boating accident caused by a friend of his from school. Lion tells how his anger at the driver is all that has kept him going for three years. Lion's friend Elaine makes Lion see through his anger and begin to heal.
"In the time I get" develops the story of Louie, from Running loose, following his girlfriend's death. Louie's friend's nephew is dying from AIDS. Darren's condition worsens during the summer, and Louie's experience after Becky's death has enabled him to overcome his homophobia to support Darren in the end. 

Chinese handcuffs by Chris Crutcher

Chinese handcuffs by Chris Crutcher. Greenwillow Books, 1989.

Dillon saw his brother, Preston, commit suicide and now struggles to keep going. He writes letters to Preston as he is the only one who understands what Dillon is going through. Dillon can't talk to his father, and his mother and little sister have moved away. Preston's girlfriend is dealing with her own problems, as is Dillon's best friend, Jen. Throughout this period Dillon comes to a sense of peace and moves on from his brother, although he still wishes Preston had the strength to stay.

My brother has AIDS by Deborah Davis

My brother has AIDS by Deborah Davis. Atheneum, 1994.

Lacy's brother, Jack, comes home in the latter stages of AIDS. Lacy's life is subsequently turned upside down. Her parents do not want her to tell others about Jack's illness as her father has had difficulty accepting Jack's homosexuality. Jack's grief over the loss of his partner is realistically portrayed. Lacy presents a class health report on AIDS, with the support of her swim coach, who has also had a brother die of AIDS. Most of Lacy's friends rally around her and support her. Lacy fights to be part of Jack's last days as that's all she'll have of him.

Sanctuary by Kate De Goldi

Sanctuary by Kate De Goldi. Puffin, 1996.

Catriona has hidden from her sister's death. As she blames herself for the death, she has buried the fact beneath her surface act of togetherness. But events spiral out of her control and her life falls apart, finally enabling her to grieve for her sister, and to connect with her mother. A difficult novel to read, it is told in flashbacks compiled by Catriona during her sessions with Miriam, her therapist.

Meggie's magic by Anna Dean

Meggie's magic by Anna Dean, illustrated by Colin Stevens. Viking, 1993.

Meggie's sister reminisces about her sister's short life. She also describes her parents' grief.  She finds comfort in her memories of playing with Meggie, and the realisation that Meggie's magic lives on in those memories.  The soft acrylic illustrations enhance the text. 

A family project by Sarah Ellis

A family project by Sarah Ellis. Margaret K. McElderry Books, 1986.
[Also published as The baby project]

Jessica's family are overjoyed with the addition of Lucie, their new baby sister. The book spends a lot of time on Jessica and her family's day-to-day life, including Jessica and her best friend, Margaret's, Baby Project for school. But one night, while Jessica is at a friend's place, baby Lucie dies of cot death. The book then follows the family's reactions as each member grieves differently. At the end of the novel Jessica is beginning to celebrate Lucie's short life.